I didn’t know the fires were cold

Before I became disabled I was in awe of disabled people who did things I couldn’t even whilst living with the hot fire agony of pain.

Now I know how they did things in pain. They could do it because their pain was constant, so if they wanted to do something, they did it in pain. And they could do it because the disabled relationship with pain is different to the non-disabled relationship with pain. I didn’t know the fires were cold. 

Many non-disabled people know disabled people experience pain differently. Usually they think disabled people get used to very severe pain and it no longer hurts. They think there is no fire. But disabled people usually feel pain at least as intensely as non-disabled people, and lots feel pain more excruciatingly. But the way the pain affects their life is different. The ways they manage their pain are different. There is a fire and the fire is cold.

Disabled pain and non-disabled pain are different but they are both pain. 

Hot fires burn hot and bright. Hot fires cook food and make safe water. Hot fires sterilise surgical tools. Hot fires burn down buildings. Hot fires burn humans too. 

Cold fires are not visible in daylight. Cold fires are rare. Cold fires do not burn fingers. Cold fires cause engine knock. Cold fires do not light matches. A cold fire in the hearth is not good.

And they are both fires.