I Didn’t Know The Fires Were Cold

Two months on a mental health ward. Two months of locked up belongings, restricted outside access and making friends with wonderful strangers. Two months of using sign language for the first time and flying in a bubble of autistic joy. For all its faults, the mental health ward was wonderful. There are lots of ways to communicate using sign. It's important to recognise the difference between gesture languages and formalised sign language. Gesture uses hand signals to convey meaning. It is specific to the people communicating, and is almost like a personal language between two individuals. Over time, gestures become ingrained, so there is no need to clarify what they mean. This is how many of the world's 300 sign languages began, and how sign languages grow and evolve in the modern world. Gesture is my protected language, and I spoke a combination of verbal English and gesture on the mental health ward. My favourite gesture was Peace For Eleven. I was in room 11, and my locker w

 Hello, my name is Sophie and I am an activist.  It has taken me so long to get to this point. I used to believe I was an activist failed, that I had tried so hard and fallen at every hurdle. It wasn't a name I would have claimed for myself out of shame for being an angry disabled person. The reality is I'm not angry. I'm not an angry person; anger isn't really an emotion I have access to. Instead I'm a worrier who likes to help people. It makes my activism quite unusual and very effective. I've achieved a lot throughout my life, but I've had two major wins. The first win was my first ever accidental attempt at activism. I became an activist aged 14 whilst in hospital with severe anorexia. I wasn't expected to live, my mum was told to say goodbye. And in typical Sophie style, I decided I wanted to live. I started to eat, and there was hope. The doctors became very dismissive of my struggles. Why can't you just eat more, Sophie? Drink orange juice, So